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Ok....So....I've decided to start my diet.....Monday!  I believe you can probably tell that there is a little bit of hesitation in my proclamation here.  I hate dieting and I hate exercising!!!!!  There!!!!  I said it!

Wow!  I feel better!  Seriously though, now that I've said it, I guess I'd better follow though.  It's not that I don't want to lose weight.  I do!  I just have such a sweet tooth that I dread cutting that sugar habit!  I go through such withdrawal and get cranky...crankier than usual!  And dieting is actually a lot of work.  There is the planning, the shopping, the preparing, and the documenting (I use My Fitness Pal).  I have myself "psyched" to do this.  And I have motivation.  I have two trips coming up and I want to actually fit into some of my clothes before those trips!  The first trip is in six short weeks, so I need to get this started!  So tonight is the shopping for the diet.  Tomorrow is the preparing for the diet.  Sunday I work, so nothing diet related happening there!  Then Monday morning I will wake up and be very excited to get started....NOT!  I think I really need an attitude adjustment!  But I will do this.  I have dieted all of my life.  Successfully.  And then I have put all the weight back on a little at a time, and hated myself for it.

While all of this might seem negative to you, it really is therapeutic for me.  I need to get these feelings out in the open.  I don't want to pretend that I'm super happy about dieting. I'm simply not.  But reality hits every now and then, and it has hit me hard.  I have very few clothes that fit me well.  And I refuse to start buying a bigger size.  

Now, for the exercising part.  I honestly don't know when I will find the time to exercise.  I have such little time at home, and when I am at home, I want to get "stuff" done or sit and enjoy some time with the hubby.  But I need to try to find at least two-three 30 minute periods of time a week.  I will be realistic and try to start out with 15 minute periods twice a week. Then, when I am comfortable in that routine, I will increase it.  

Somehow, putting all of this down in writing makes me feel like it's actually going to happen.  Stay tuned......

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