Thoughts & Emotions Of A "Blue" Mom
This blog post should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. I write about what is bothering me, or what is happening in my life at the present time. And this week, it is all about the Blue Family....Law Enforcement....The Thin Blue Line.
I am a very proud LEO (Law Enforcement Officer) Mom. Everyone knows this. I love my Son, and I am very proud of him. He made it to the rank of Lieutenant by the age of 36, while being deployed for 3 full years with the National Guard during his time on the force. He's done well. And with every rank advancement, I am more hopeful that it keeps him in the office more, and off the streets. However, my son is not one to stay in the office. He has gained the respect of his officers by being out on the streets with them, by not asking them to do anything that he isn't willing to do first. He's a cop's cop. Law enforcement work is not new to our family. My brother is a retired officer, and I have multiple cousins and uncles that have served, and still are serving in different agencies and states. It is a noble career. It can also be a very dangerous, deadly career. As we witnessed once again this week, criminals have no regard for law enforcement, and without a thought, will take the life of anyone, including a police officer.
I always know which shift my son is working. It's on my calendar in my phone when he switches from mornings to evenings. I don't always know which days he has off, but I always know what shift he is on. So on Monday, when I received a text from my niece asking if "he" (I won't use his name in this post) was ok, I knew something was wrong. I immediately Googled it, and what I saw gave me chills. The headline read "Baltimore County Police Officer Shot". The emotions that hit me when I see something like this are nothing short of full blown panic. My Son knows I will text him when I hear something like this, and he knows to text me back immediately. I did text him, and he did text me back immediately. Good Son! He also told me that the female officer was not going to make it. At this point, my emotions went from relief that my son was ok, to overwhelming grief that an officer's life had been taken. The next set of emotions that rolled over me were immediate guilt that I was so glad it wasn't my son, to sorrow for the family going through right now what no family should have to go through. Getting that phone call, or that visit at your door. I cannot imagine. I don't want to imagine. This woman put on her uniform that Monday and went to work like any other day. Did she think that morning that it could be her last day on earth? Did she do anything to deserve this? Absolutely not. She did her job. Period. And a child, who is already a career criminal, AWOL from home monitoring, stole a Jeep, went to burglarize a home, and instead of surrendering, decided that he should just eliminate the police officer to make his problem go away. When did this become the kind of thinking a 16 year old has? I don't want to get into societal issues, but Wow! Where are we headed? How can this be happening? And I don't care if he was black, white, red or yellow. That factors into this not at all for me. I am not the kind of person who instantly goes to the race issue. It just isn't how I think.
For the rest of that day, my son's girlfriend and I texted back and forth a lot. This was her first incident of this sort to deal with as a significant other to a police officer. She's a strong woman and she dealt with it well, but was as shaken as I was. We kept each other in the loop as much as we could during the search for the suspects, and when she heard from him, and knew he was back safe and sound, she let me know. When I made it home that night, his Dad and I comforted each other, talked about the incident, and knew that we were the lucky family that night. But still, the feeling of guilt as we go to sleep knowing that our son is fine, is not a fun feeling. Somewhere, there is a family dealing with the unthinkable....
I am a very proud LEO (Law Enforcement Officer) Mom. Everyone knows this. I love my Son, and I am very proud of him. He made it to the rank of Lieutenant by the age of 36, while being deployed for 3 full years with the National Guard during his time on the force. He's done well. And with every rank advancement, I am more hopeful that it keeps him in the office more, and off the streets. However, my son is not one to stay in the office. He has gained the respect of his officers by being out on the streets with them, by not asking them to do anything that he isn't willing to do first. He's a cop's cop. Law enforcement work is not new to our family. My brother is a retired officer, and I have multiple cousins and uncles that have served, and still are serving in different agencies and states. It is a noble career. It can also be a very dangerous, deadly career. As we witnessed once again this week, criminals have no regard for law enforcement, and without a thought, will take the life of anyone, including a police officer.
I always know which shift my son is working. It's on my calendar in my phone when he switches from mornings to evenings. I don't always know which days he has off, but I always know what shift he is on. So on Monday, when I received a text from my niece asking if "he" (I won't use his name in this post) was ok, I knew something was wrong. I immediately Googled it, and what I saw gave me chills. The headline read "Baltimore County Police Officer Shot". The emotions that hit me when I see something like this are nothing short of full blown panic. My Son knows I will text him when I hear something like this, and he knows to text me back immediately. I did text him, and he did text me back immediately. Good Son! He also told me that the female officer was not going to make it. At this point, my emotions went from relief that my son was ok, to overwhelming grief that an officer's life had been taken. The next set of emotions that rolled over me were immediate guilt that I was so glad it wasn't my son, to sorrow for the family going through right now what no family should have to go through. Getting that phone call, or that visit at your door. I cannot imagine. I don't want to imagine. This woman put on her uniform that Monday and went to work like any other day. Did she think that morning that it could be her last day on earth? Did she do anything to deserve this? Absolutely not. She did her job. Period. And a child, who is already a career criminal, AWOL from home monitoring, stole a Jeep, went to burglarize a home, and instead of surrendering, decided that he should just eliminate the police officer to make his problem go away. When did this become the kind of thinking a 16 year old has? I don't want to get into societal issues, but Wow! Where are we headed? How can this be happening? And I don't care if he was black, white, red or yellow. That factors into this not at all for me. I am not the kind of person who instantly goes to the race issue. It just isn't how I think.
For the rest of that day, my son's girlfriend and I texted back and forth a lot. This was her first incident of this sort to deal with as a significant other to a police officer. She's a strong woman and she dealt with it well, but was as shaken as I was. We kept each other in the loop as much as we could during the search for the suspects, and when she heard from him, and knew he was back safe and sound, she let me know. When I made it home that night, his Dad and I comforted each other, talked about the incident, and knew that we were the lucky family that night. But still, the feeling of guilt as we go to sleep knowing that our son is fine, is not a fun feeling. Somewhere, there is a family dealing with the unthinkable....
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