What If People Are Doing The Best They Can?
What if people are doing the best they can?
This has become my obsession this week. Let it sink in. What if?
I started listening to a new audio book in the car, and the author, the fabulous Brene' Brown poses this question in her book "Rising Strong as a Spiritual Practice".
So the lesson I have learned is this:
I am doing the best I can. I have problems. I don't need to, nor will I, air them here. But I'm doing the best I can, given the problems I have in my life on a daily basis.
Everyone is battling something. Addiction, mental illness, abuse, financial struggles, health issues, marital problems, etc., etc., etc. I could on and on, but you get the point. So....is everyone just doing the best they can, given the problems they have?
I won't answer this for you. You can decide for yourself. I choose to think YES. People ARE doing the best they can. Most everyone that is. I know there are some that probably aren't, but for the sake of this blog post, I'm assuming MOST everyone is. Because when I assume that everyone is probably doing the best they can, I can forgive that rude person who cut me off. Maybe they were late for work and can't afford to be late one more time or they will lose their job, and that would be total financial devastation for them. No, they don't have to be rude, but that's not my job to judge.
Maybe that clerk in Walmart that wasn't so friendly has a dying husband that she is supporting by working there. Maybe that Facebook friend who posted a mean comment on my post about my day date with hubby is facing divorce, and is just terribly bitter towards love right now.
Bottom line....we just don't know what people are going through. Some of you would be surprised to know about some of the problems in my life because my social media pages are filled with positivity and smiles. I just prefer not to air my dirty laundry like others. My choice.
This intrigued me so much, that I did what I do anytime something trips my trigger. I went into research mode. Yes, I'm a nerd. I admit it. Here's what I found. A LOT of people have written about this! I think Brene' hit a nerve! Some of the info I found revolves around toxicity and relationships. Here's a couple of examples.
*If you have a toxic person in your life, if you assume they are doing the best they can, you can either forgive them, or have the freedom to walk away. What if you have the grace to walk towards them, find out what is really going on, empathize, and forgive them? What if you find out what's going on and due to abuse or other dangerous reasons walk away? Either way, you will know why that person is toxic to you. And at the end of the day, you can lay your head on the pillow and know you are doing the best you can...and just maybe, that toxic person is doing the best they can also.
*If you are in a relationship with someone, and you've hit the rocks, instead of giving up, maybe...just maybe, assume they are doing the best they can. Maybe put yourself in their shoes for a few days. Are you a peach to live with? Are you doing the best you can?
Your husband didn't leave the dishes in the sink just to make you late for work, or to make you angry. Don't always assume that he's out to sabotage you! And when you walk in from work and attack him because he didn't fix the dinner you wanted, don't assume he did it on purpose. There really could be a reason. And he needs to realize that you might have had a really bad day, and he is the first "safe" person you can attack after leaving your job. Maybe this is the best you have today. It does work both ways.
I don't mean to get all philosophical here. I'm not trained in any kind of psychology that gives me the right to "preach" this. It just really hit me hard, and I've thought of little else since I heard it. I want to believe everyone is doing the best they can! I need to believe that!
So as you go through the rest of your week, and you encounter unhappy, rude, or disgruntled people, maybe ask yourself if a smile might help them. Would a kind word help? Maybe, after all, they are just doing the best they can! Aren't you doing the best you can?
This has become my obsession this week. Let it sink in. What if?
I started listening to a new audio book in the car, and the author, the fabulous Brene' Brown poses this question in her book "Rising Strong as a Spiritual Practice".
So the lesson I have learned is this:
I am doing the best I can. I have problems. I don't need to, nor will I, air them here. But I'm doing the best I can, given the problems I have in my life on a daily basis.
Everyone is battling something. Addiction, mental illness, abuse, financial struggles, health issues, marital problems, etc., etc., etc. I could on and on, but you get the point. So....is everyone just doing the best they can, given the problems they have?
I won't answer this for you. You can decide for yourself. I choose to think YES. People ARE doing the best they can. Most everyone that is. I know there are some that probably aren't, but for the sake of this blog post, I'm assuming MOST everyone is. Because when I assume that everyone is probably doing the best they can, I can forgive that rude person who cut me off. Maybe they were late for work and can't afford to be late one more time or they will lose their job, and that would be total financial devastation for them. No, they don't have to be rude, but that's not my job to judge.
Maybe that clerk in Walmart that wasn't so friendly has a dying husband that she is supporting by working there. Maybe that Facebook friend who posted a mean comment on my post about my day date with hubby is facing divorce, and is just terribly bitter towards love right now.
Bottom line....we just don't know what people are going through. Some of you would be surprised to know about some of the problems in my life because my social media pages are filled with positivity and smiles. I just prefer not to air my dirty laundry like others. My choice.
This intrigued me so much, that I did what I do anytime something trips my trigger. I went into research mode. Yes, I'm a nerd. I admit it. Here's what I found. A LOT of people have written about this! I think Brene' hit a nerve! Some of the info I found revolves around toxicity and relationships. Here's a couple of examples.
*If you have a toxic person in your life, if you assume they are doing the best they can, you can either forgive them, or have the freedom to walk away. What if you have the grace to walk towards them, find out what is really going on, empathize, and forgive them? What if you find out what's going on and due to abuse or other dangerous reasons walk away? Either way, you will know why that person is toxic to you. And at the end of the day, you can lay your head on the pillow and know you are doing the best you can...and just maybe, that toxic person is doing the best they can also.
*If you are in a relationship with someone, and you've hit the rocks, instead of giving up, maybe...just maybe, assume they are doing the best they can. Maybe put yourself in their shoes for a few days. Are you a peach to live with? Are you doing the best you can?
Your husband didn't leave the dishes in the sink just to make you late for work, or to make you angry. Don't always assume that he's out to sabotage you! And when you walk in from work and attack him because he didn't fix the dinner you wanted, don't assume he did it on purpose. There really could be a reason. And he needs to realize that you might have had a really bad day, and he is the first "safe" person you can attack after leaving your job. Maybe this is the best you have today. It does work both ways.
I don't mean to get all philosophical here. I'm not trained in any kind of psychology that gives me the right to "preach" this. It just really hit me hard, and I've thought of little else since I heard it. I want to believe everyone is doing the best they can! I need to believe that!
So as you go through the rest of your week, and you encounter unhappy, rude, or disgruntled people, maybe ask yourself if a smile might help them. Would a kind word help? Maybe, after all, they are just doing the best they can! Aren't you doing the best you can?
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